We can’t wait to travel until we get to our final destination. Then all we want is to come back home
Don’t get us wrong, we love to travel. But for many of us, travel is not always as easy as booking a flight, packing a bag, and saying bon voyage. Immersing yourself in a new place can be daunting, not to mention the separation anxiety and homesickness that can oftentimes manifest as a side-effect of being away from home.
Here’s why some of us struggle with travel (because nobody talks about it):
Naturally averse to change, so find it difficult to adapt to a new place
Battling trauma so fears being away from loved ones
Thrive on routine so the break from the regularly scheduled programming feels scary
The list goes on.
As we approach the summer, it's natural for the topic of travel to come up more than usual and you may feel torn between going and not going on a trip. On one hand, you know you’ll have a great time with your friends and family and are excited to discover a new place. But on the other hand, you’re nervous about the potential anxiety you’ll feel when you get there.
It can be easy to let this anxiety crawl into the driver's seat and make decisions for you. But sometimes, it's important to step out of your comfort zone and do things that feel scary for the sake of your own personal growth. Of course, this is easier said than done, but you can start by listening to your heart and understanding your gut feelings. If you know deep down that you want to go, then there are ways to mitigate the anxiety you may feel on your trip which may make the prospect more appealing.
Here are a couple of tips and mindset shifts that have worked for us in the past:
You’re not required to live like a local. You can experience the place well as a tourist.
All the travel craze over the past couple of years has been about living like a local. TikTok, and other forms of content, have been hyper-focused on uncovering the most unknown sights not featured on any tourist maps or Eyewitness Travel books. It’s become almost shameful to eat somewhere in close proximity to a famous landmark, rather than a hole-in-the-wall restaurant located in that alleyway so tiny most people don’t even know it's there.
There is something to be said about how stepping into the shoes of a local can help you understand the culture of the place in a more authentic way. That being said, choosing the road less traveled in unfamiliar places can feel scary and that has nothing to do with being “uncultured,” and everything to do with your anxiety.
That being said, choosing the road less traveled in unfamiliar places can feel scary and that has nothing to do with being “uncultured,” and everything to do with your anxiety.
We’re here to tell you that it is okay to eat dinner in a more “touristy” location if that helps you protect your peace. And it is valid to walk on the main roads and see the main attractions, versus an out-of-the-way landmark, if that is what feels more comfortable to you.
There are, of course, ways to do both. Maybe you wander the streets when it’s light out but stick to more familiar neighborhoods at night. Regardless of what you choose, it’s always important to check in with yourself and not feel like there is only one type of experience you can have to enjoy yourself. To each their own!
It’s okay to visit the same place twice.
When you’re in a new place for a limited amount of time, you may feel the need to visit as many places as you can to ensure you’ve seen it all. While this may work for some people, constantly entering new neighborhoods and visiting new locations every hour can be overwhelming.
Sometimes we enjoy visiting as much of the place as we can on day 1, using the next few days to revisit the areas we enjoyed the most. To be clear, it’s less about doing the same activity over and over, but about spending more time in the select neighborhoods and areas that make you feel the most calm. For instance, maybe you really liked a certain plaza you visited for some reason. The next day, try going to a coffee shop or a walk in that area on subsequent days. Sometimes a familiar environment is enough to calm your nerves.
To be clear, it’s less about doing the same activity over and over, but about spending more time in the select neighborhoods and areas that make you feel the most calm.
Go to sleep early. You’ll have time in the morning.
For some reason, the majority of us feel our anxiety spiraling at night. There is something about the darkness that fosters a sense of loneliness and causes us to overthink the day we had as well as the future.
This nighttime anxiety gets severely deepened when we’re traveling. There is this pressure to go out at night in new places and experience the most we can, but we end up spending most of that time anxious rather than enjoying the place we are visiting. If you struggle with trauma, walking down the street in the dark in an unfamiliar place can feel paralyzing.
We’re here to debunk the theory that you need to stay out late when on a trip. We promise you’ll have equally as much time to explore in the morning when it’s light out and you can fully live in the present to whatever extent is possible. And who knows, maybe there are some niche things you can only experience in the mornings. Think Sunday morning Farmers’ Market. Go to sleep, set your alarm, and start fresh. We highly recommend this!
Carry over routines from home.
If you love a good routine, the prospect of going on a trip may feel scary. What if your sleep cycle gets messed up? What if your hotel doesn’t have a gym to work out in the morning? For many of us, having a routine isn’t about being picky, but about having a mechanism to help protect our mental health. It’s about knowing that even if your day ends up horrible, you did certain things to make you feel good, whether it's working out, getting that iced coffee, or going to bed for that precious 8 hours of sleep.
For many of us, having a routine isn’t about being picky, but about having a mechanism to help protect our mental health.
We recommend recreating your favorite, most sacred rituals while traveling. Visit a fitness center or yoga studio close to where you are staying. Or maybe visit a cafe at the same time you usually would at home. Even if it ends up being just one thing that carries over, there are ways to preserve some sense of familiarity and habit while in a new place.
Look ahead only one hour at a time.
Do you ever book a long trip out of excitement, but then worry about how you’re possibly going to make it that far on night 1? Trust us, we get it. Sometimes we find ourselves checking the weather app only to spiral after realizing our trip will last longer than the visible 10-day forecast.
Sometimes we find ourselves checking the weather app only to spiral after realizing our trip will last longer than the visible 10-day forecast.
These moments can ruin your trip and cause you to spend more time worrying and less time enjoying. Even though it’s easier said than done, we’ve found it helpful to look ahead only one hour at a time. Instead of wondering how you’ll make it the full 2 weeks, plan out the next hour and be proud of yourself when you make it to that point.
If this doesn’t work, we’ve found countdowns to be helpful. Figure out how many days you have left and recite the following over and over again until the trip feels manageable: “Only X days left.” It can feel scary at first, but think about how fast these periods of time usually go by in your life. This is no different, and it’s helpful to remind yourself of that fact as much as you need to feel calm.
Make an escape plan that lives in the back of your mind.
When the homesickness or separation anxiety kicks in, this is our go-to strategy that can provide an immediate sense of relief. Go online and browse your airline of choice’s website for the list of return flights that work with your schedule and price range. You can also browse their flight change policy if buying a new ticket isn’t an option. The goal of this exercise is not to buy the ticket but to realize that you can come home if you really need to. You are not stuck there forever.
Usually, we find ourselves doing this on night 1 when the anxiety is at a peak level and we’ve convinced ourselves that we’re never going to make it home ever again. Then, as the days go by and we adjust to the new environment, the anxiety subsides. In fact, we have never once bought the return plane ticket or needed to change the flight in the end. It’s just a helpful way to snap into reality and know you are not stuck in a new place when the distance feels isolating. Sometimes the reminder is the most helpful way to get yourself out of your head and more in touch with reality.
It’s just a helpful way to snap into reality and know you are not stuck when the distance feels isolating.
If you’re planning your next trip, let us know where you’re going @innercircusmag and which tip you foresee using in the future. You will make it through!
